I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
