I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize