drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
no. you can't hotbox the world.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
