I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
