you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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