I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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