we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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