Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
