we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
