You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
