My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
