i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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