When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Randomize
