we have officially lost it.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
