i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I need water and some morals
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
