Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I party with great urgency now.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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