i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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