After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
