Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
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