Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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