We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
