it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
