I wish I could teleport
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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