Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
