lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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