k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
