Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Randomize