Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
