I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize