Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
