It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
