wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
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