I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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