im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
