Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
