I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
