First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
my sisters under your porch take her home
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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