its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
