I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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