No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Randomize
