You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
