Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
