i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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