Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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