Quick, to the slutcave!
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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