he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
