Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
