I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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