So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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