Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize