i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
