Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
