i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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