He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize