i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
