i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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