i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
