butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
