I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
