Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
