I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
