I wannas sexs uuuuu
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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