I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
