Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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