Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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