All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize